Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Christmas Eve

It is not holiday here right before Christmas. Work insists to be faced until sunset since I am due until 7 o'clock in the evening. Probably when I get home, I would skype with my family that is miles away from my room. If not, I may treat myself with a big dinner in my favorite restaurant.

As I am writing this one, I cannot stop but smile, thinking of the good old days during the Christmas season. Here are some:

My mother would always wanted to at least prepare even a single dish on Christmas Eve. Some Christmases, we ate just a pack of loaf bread with soft drinks. When money was quite abundant, of course, we prepared much food which could be eaten even two days after the celebration. There were also times that my family couldn't afford to have even one (my mom would just tell us to reserve everything on the eve of New Year) but the true essence of Christmas was felt and that was being together celebrating each other's triumphs and failures in life.

My sister, who inherits my mom's way of thinking during the holidays, has never neglected to provide something on the table on Christmas Eve. With her husband and two young boys and my mom, Christmas has always been merry at home. Sometimes when the first of the two boys had difficulty waking up on Christmas Eve, my sister had to urge him up, then we ate, and be together until one by one fell into slumber. The younger one, who is always playfully stubborn, has got to get out to meet his cousins, and lit some fireworks which always caused my mom to get worried until he would have not gone home.

Celebrating Christmas is not only about the food we prepare on the 24th. It is not only about the gifts or presents we give and receive. Christmas is a celebration of love and joy in the family that food, presents, or money can't buy. It is a celebration of gratitude towards each other in the family.

If there is really nothing to put on the table this Christmas Eve, fill our homes with love instead. Pure joy is felt when genuine love is present in the family. 

Wow! My eyes can't hold my tears anymore. I cry not because I am regretful, but it is because I feel this unconditional love coming from my family all the way across the sea. I may be far away from them but my heart  is with them incessantly this Christmas Holidays!


Wednesday, December 18, 2013

bare, naked

No, I have got nothing on
I am bare, naked
Walking on this cold road
The chill is getting into my bones
Wanting even just a spark of heat
No, I have got no one to turn to
They shun me being stripped
Now I am heading nowhere
This chill is consuming me
This chill numbs my inmost being 

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

distinct stigma

Most of her friends proudly attest that she is really a good person. They revere her as the most iconic figure when it comes to friendship, spirituality, social works, and other things that involve community services. But what has gone wrong? Why people still have a more distinct stigma of her?

Yes, there is no question of her dedication to serve her peers and the people around her. With her golden heart, she touches their lives in one way or another. She is mostly present when a friend desperately needs a single advice or two. She is there when the church needs someone to do some chores and rituals. She is there when a certain group needs a hand. But what has gone wrong? Why people still have a more distinct stigma of her?

Here is the real deal:

Outside, she is seen as a near perfect example of her kind. She is dubbed as a 'superwoman' who can fly from one place to another. But  she tends to be another person when she is inside the house. Since she is always visible in any event outside she neglects to manage her affairs inside the house. She can't even fix her bed. She doesn't live alone. It wouldn't have any problem but she shares a room with a friend. She doesn't do any household chores. She only leaves all household works to anyone inside the house. Even just a 3-minute broom around the house is so difficult for her to do. In short, she doesn't know anything that concerns household activities.

Charity begins at home so as goodness should start inside us . There is no sense why we should be good outside without proper management of our affairs inside. Though there is a potential possibility to be good outside but ruined inside, vice versa, this is never advisable. There should be symmetry. When a woman puts some maskara on her left eye, she also puts similar amount on her right eye. If not, she will look strange, insane.

Monday, December 9, 2013

easy sex

"You only need me when you want to have sex with me!" she yelled at him and hurriedly went out then closed the door.

"No. It is not like that..." he did not even finish his sentence but she was gone, fast.

She was not even the first. She was perhaps the hundredth, or more. He did not even know her name.  His room had been so busy as a restaurant with customers. It had been open 24 hours like a convenience store, but here was different, everything was for free.

What has gone wrong?

We are now living in a very dynamic world. Everything changes in just a snap of a finger. People, old or young, have changed the definition of propriety radically.

Easy sex. This is how we coin it. It is like picking a flower in a garden.

How promiscuous is the society we are in right now?


the magic of love

Yes, the magic of love.

Have there been times when you want to find love but it seems like it exists nowhere but when you don't really find it, it finds you, all at the same time?

Rooney, at the age of 30, is financially and emotionally ready to be in a relationship. She had tried to find love in places around or even far from her but she couldn't just find one. There were many signs but they all failed leaving her alone. There were guys whom she had had affection with but they all went into one place--into nowhere. Hopelessly she could have just given up but she has been moving on and continuing life, now, without finding anyone.

But right at this moment, ironically, love has been finding her. She is being surrounded with various guys who want to be a part of her life. Some are serious and want to settle down with her. All she has to do is to choose who among these men has the edge and the purest intention to her. They all come, altogether, just one moment in time.

Yes, that is the magic of love.

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

i am a christian

"I am a Christian.

I hate some of the people around me. They always make our life miserable. I hate how they run the government. I don't like them when they are loudly shouting at each other in a market. Or maybe how slow they are when I am at a grocery store. I hate their culture. I hate all about them.

I am a Christian.

I talk about my friends to other friends. When one does something bad, I hurriedly go to my other friends to tell something fishy about the this one. I tolerate anything that they do as long as they are happy; then I am happy too. Sometimes if I don't like a friend, I just don't talk to him. Or when I am aggravated by him, I will never talk to him again.

I am a Christian.

I am so critical about other religions. I hate them because of their belief either in their gods or other creatures. I also dislike the practice of others about how they worship their icons. I think that I and my church friends are the only people who will go to heaven.

I am a Christian.

I forsake my brother. I hate my sister. I dislike my mother for being a nagger. I hate my father for not giving me what I want in life."

Is this a modern example of Christian? If yes, are you like this?

my ordinary kite

Since nylon string was quite expensive during my time, I used to untangle fish net until I had combined a very long set of string of different colors. Then, I round this string on an empty can of sardines. Once the string was ready, I began to choose some thin but sturdy broomsticks at the back of the house. Then, I cut and designed newspaper, or if none, just plain paper. When all materials were ready, I had to get a pinch or two of leftover rice for gluing-- the edges, the middle-- until I came up with a beautiful possession. The unused strips of paper which were not that cut so evenly were placed  at the lower part of it as tail. 

I was just a simple kid. My family was not well-off to afford expensive toys. Since home was quite near to an open field in our village, when seasons turned sunny and windy, I used to make very ordinary kites.

In the field, at first,  I had to spread the kite on the ground and its tail, then walked to a certain distance, and finally pulled the kite until it got steadily flying up in the air. Once the kite happily moved up above, I enjoyed releasing more of  the string in order for the kite to get higher and farther.

There was one time when the sun hastily wanted to go to the west  as I was lying in the middle of the field and looking at my kite, I began to imagine to have flown a bigger and more beautiful kite. I prayerfully dreamed of being  a kite connoisseur with more colorful papers and stronger nylon strings.

I only knew how to make and fly an ordinary kite. I only dreamed of being a simple kite flyer. Now, I am maneuvering a bigger one that stays in the air even a day or two. It is really huge that it can also carry many people. It may not have colorful papers or strong nylon string but this big kite has become the color and stanchion of my life for so many years now.




Monday, December 2, 2013

how much time

"I have travelled far just to be with you but still you can't give much of your time?"

This echoed in the air on a foggy night right in the middle of an old bridge in a park. After these words, Marvin ran fast like there was no one could ever chase after him at that time. Jessie gripped the bridge's railing as tears began to come out from her eyes.

Marvin worked far from Jessie. Barely twice a week, this was the only time they had to see each other. For Marvin, it seemed like Jessie was always preoccupied with things, something.

Marvin loved Jessie so much that he sacrificed most things for Jessie. Marvin had always thought that Jessie just couldn't give much not even enough time.

"I don't know how much time do you need from me. We go out, eat out, see a movie, hang out, and be together and happy. Why you still say you need more time when I have given you almost all that I don't even have mine?" Jessie strongly gripped the bridge's railing, now, she sobbed and whined.

We must learn to appreciate a simple act from someone. The moment we neglect to recognize the  simple acts we tend to become totally blind even with the big ones.

Sunday, December 1, 2013

yoke

"Dad, can you carry me?"

The father did not hesitate to get the boy on his back up to his nape. The boy's legs were in between the father's head.

"Dad, can you lift me higher?"

The father hastily lifted the boy until the boy had stood on his father's shoulders.

"Am I heavy, Dad?"

"Why did you ask?" the father asked the boy.

"Since I was very young, you have carried me on your shoulders. Now that I am over 9 you still carry me without even shrugging off."

"Since you are my son, I can do as much as I can to make you feel better and keep you unharmed."

God, the Father, carries you no matter how much heavy your yoke is.

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

slacks and perks

An early bird catches the most worms, doesn't it? But, leave all afternoon for exercise and recreation. Wait...evening is a time of real experimentation.

Liza has been having difficulty getting up in the morning. Though her job starts from 9 she can't still figure out how has she been coping to be on her senses early in the morning. Most often, after being up, she goes straightly to the shower room, and then prepare to go to work. Good thing she doesn't have much task in the morning in the office. She is not a morning person.

Every after lunch, Rooney tends to be fast asleep whether at work or at home. Afternoons seem to have a potion for him to be so laid-back and lazy. There are times that dozing off turns into a deep kip. He tries to be alert when the sun is under his head but nothing seems to make him alive. He is not an afternoon person.

Gigi has a very simple life. In the morning she goes to work. In the afternoon she comes home. Then after dinner her body is likely to be tempted by her bed. So before 9 or sometimes 8 she is already dead as a door-nail. It could have been her working lifestyle at daytime that is making her snore early at nighttime. Sometimes, she just can't even be awakened during Christmas or New Year's Eve. She is not an evening person.

There are times in our life that we feel like being a lark. Sometimes, we just want to be a sunny bum or maybe a night owl. A certain survey of over 400 adults showed approximately 15% morning people, 25% evening people, and 60% intermediates. For whatever category we may fit in, always remember that life has its slacks and perks.


Tuesday, November 26, 2013

square pen

Sunrise lights it every morning. Up the hill, it stands alone with its stern walls. Several big logs are like in a stack with a little space in between them forming a square type hut with a grass roof at almost two persons high.  But what is distinct about it is that it has no door nor opening. Sunset means the start of darkness in this isolated place. 

Lien, 27, has been there for almost seven years now. He has braved seasons after seasons whether it's hot, cold, snowy, or stormy. He only has a wooden bed with a couple of thick fleece to survive time. Imagine him freezing like ice maybe during winter or melting like ice cream during summer. Lien seems not to bother any of these. His body hasn't changed- still as thick as the logs around him.

Chen, his father, visits him every other day. It has been his routine for several years. But there has never been a visit that he did not cry. Looking at some meters away from his son's cage, he begins to cry. He can't help it. 

Chen had had some difficult times taming Lien as he was growing up. At the age of 20, Lien's physical stature had begun to become strong and feral. Chen tried many times to tie him with a rope but Lien could still break the knot. Chen thought that Lien couldn't be controlled so he decided to bring him up the hill and built a special place for his son.

Schizophrenia has totally damaged Lien's life. Chen can't afford to take Lien to a specialist. Moreover, their village is quite far from the town and as far as medicine which costs an arm and a leg is concerned, there are just a few doctors that treat the case of Lien.  It breaks Chen's heart everyday thinking about the condition of his son. But he has no choice. He thinks that this is the safest thing for his son.

Chen has never thought that life is unfair. He doesn't think that he is old enough to hope that one day he could be with his son not up the hill but on his side like when Lien was still young. He dreams that one day he would not go into that square pen up the hill again. 

Thursday, November 21, 2013

what is your church?

A church is an edifice where worshipers mostly sit  for at least 3 hours or even more, and stand occasionally. This is possibly the more prominent definition among others. 'Ecclesia' is the old term in Greek for church which literally means assembly or a place where gatherings occur. 

Everyone has a church. This is not only the structure which maybe has high roofs and concrete walls with different images inside or outside but it is also a place or activity that they spend most of their times. For many, their houses or workplaces could mean church. They spend almost a day for the same chores. For others, it could be in front of a television. There are these people who allocate much time watching TV programs. They just can't begin their days without turning their TVs on. Or maybe, they just can't sleep without that boob tube sound as their lullaby.

Some may say that their church is the court or the field. Playing their favorite sports which eats most of their time and energy is their ritual. Some may say reading a book salvages their time and brings comfort to their soul majority of their time in a day. It could also be a walk with their dogs in a park almost every other day. Or, driving a motorcycle rounding the village or city oftentimes in a week.

For whatever church people choose and have, no matter how trivial, shallow, important, or deep it may be for some, may they find the underlying meaning of church which is contentment, joy, and peace of mind.

Thursday, November 14, 2013

paradox

Paradoxes are not just trivial occurrences that happen to everyone. For whatever purposes they may serve, there are and must be lessons behind these paradoxes that we encounter in our lives. . A paradox is like a conundrum. Every incident of paradox leaves a puzzling remnant that needs to be unraveled and it requires a number of nerves in the hypothalamus to shiver ending up a good answer to the puzzle. The same way with life, it necessitates someone to undergo the what we call introspection for him to realize the lessons of paradoxes. 

Life has full of paradoxes. In our everyday life, we may encounter different and bizarre paradoxes. You might have been a demonstrator who is against the American capitalist but teach English in school or you might have hated wearing pink since you were a kid but now most shirts on your wardrobe are pink. Maybe you think that fermented rice has a very appalling smell but when you are on your dining table you are hypnotized by it then eat it selfishly like no more tomorrow. You may have promised yourself not to wear shorts in your entire life because you have not good legs or you may have thighs like logs but when you are away from your place or residence you wear skimpy shorts as if it is running out of some piece of clothing. You said you don’t love your ex-boyfriend anymore but secretly and intimately date with him every other day. You even incessantly buy expensive stuff knowing that your parents only earn enough for your meals three times a day. Even in movies, paradox is immanent. Look at those rags to riches movie theme or think of Robin Hood stealing for the benefit of the poor? You can read in newspaper an addict turned priest in a church. And many more…


Do you have the same story? To what story do you consider you are most likely akin to?


lesser-friend


Sometimes we close our ears to hear other sides of story because of personal biases. We only consider one side because on that side is our close friend and on the other is a distant one. Sometimes we even sacrifice our friendship with the lesser-related friend in favor of the closer one. Too bad that because of prejudice and hypocrisy we lose one and keep the other.

"My brothers and sisters, believers in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ must not show favoritism. Suppose a man comes into your meeting wearing a gold ring and fine clothes, and a poor man in filthy old clothes also comes in. If you show special attention to the man wearing fine clothes and say, 'Here’s a good seat for you,' but say to the poor man, 'You stand there' or 'Sit on the floor by my feet,' have you not discriminated among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts?' (James 2:1-4).

the choice


The havoc our country has been experiencing is really saddening. But what makes it more saddening or should I say sickening is the media that gives partial and bias information to the people. I am aware of media's primary role in the society which is to give information to the public, but a few media men and some known celebrities have not been sensitive and sensible enough of which information to be given to the public. Some local and international media personalities have gone beyond reporting. I don't want to assume that some of them are making this hideous calamity as their platform to gain applause and recognition. Apparently, they have trespassed 'depersonalisation' neglecting their pivotal role which is maintaining objectivity in information dissemination. Sensationalizing events and occurrences in the typhoon stricken areas by them have led netizens to blame the authorities or the people in charge of the affected places. Worse, netizens have grown weary leading them to post any news reports from youtube or news/cable channels. On top of it, netizens have neglected to scrutinize what they have been posting online.


Be responsible. Choose what you post!

Thursday, September 26, 2013

damp

This hole is dark
I try to find a way out
I spread my arms
Trying to feel 

And figure out
Which path
O, life
Give me some light


-------------------

I see a field
Brown and barren
Its cracks make some creases
Its dryness droughts the whole plot.

Damp

Friday, September 13, 2013

never provoke anyone

"You are 35, right? You look like a 35-year old man. You are maybe 35. You are really 35."

These sentences echoed in the court while they were on a stand by for their next games. There were about 15 of them, young and old.

Nan, a single mom, had continuously provoked Teng. She was older than Teng so maybe she thought that she had all the right to do such. Since Teng was quite shy and a newbie in the group, all he had to do was smile eventhough inside him furiously wanted to retaliate to Nan's remarks. But it was a good thing Teng was able to hold his mouth...and most importantly, his fist. Teng had thought that Nan was a woman. He respected her for her age and her gender.

Bullying happens everywhere. It is an attribute being held by any gender, men or women. Never provoke anyone if we do not want to get hurt. Never make someone mad if we do not want to be at risk. Being of age doesn't give us the right to bully the younger ones. Yes, men should respect women, and yet, women should respect men, too. Respect begets respect. 


Wednesday, September 4, 2013

lavish

It has been her issue for the longest time!

Gwenn has got everything she wants. Superficially, she is happy. But why at night she just can't seem to have a good sleep?

She works 9 to 5 in a company as a secretary. Her salary is just enough to provide for her needs and sometimes she shares to her family. But what has gone wrong?

In the office, when someone has  new stuff, she plans of buying one as well or maybe a better thing. When someone has to go on a travel in another country, she books a ticket immediately as well wanting to be equal with the others. When someone buys a new gadget or any not-so-important things, she hurries to buy for her own too. She is in the flow. 

Until one day, she learns her lesson. She finds out that there have been a big amount she has borrowed from friends or from any acquaintance. The bank suspended her credit card because on non-payment of her debts. Her car is almost on the brink of disappearance due to non-payment of its monthly amortization. She parties almost every weekend with friends in some luxurious bars where beverages cost an arm and a leg. In short, she doesn't know the definition of living frugally.

She has resorted to borrowing from one person to another but her lifestyle is the same or sometimes more lavish;  her situation has gone from bad to worse.

One day, as Gwenn walks on a street she sees an old man. This man's shirt is as dirty as grease. He points at Gwenn and laughs loudly as he walks afar. Suddenly, she thinks of money again. She thinks where can she get some amount to pay for her debts. Even in her head, she has no escape.

Too much of something is bad enough. It is true that when people enjoy luxury, they tend to ask and seek for more and more. 

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

virtually

They have felt the love for each other-virtually.

They haven't met personally. All their love story has been stored in some gigabytes, technically. For almost a year of unending profession of love for and with each other, they have believed that love has bound them together.

Just like any other else's love story, they have also their silent moments when they have had some slight misunderstanding with each other. There have been times when they tried to forget each other. But at the end of each day, they still see each others' face-virtually.

The moment has come for them to face reality. 

At first, Harry feels tense knowing he will have to speak to Sarah in flesh. He feels like drawing back. He can't get the picture of his face because in a minute or two Sarah will be in front of him.

Finally, Harry has seen Sarah.

When the evening comes, Harry, while resting on the edge of his bed, slowly grabs the frame from the drawer. He smiles and then he walks towards his cabinet and opens a box. Without hesitation, he happily places Sarah's photograph inside it where he puts all his good and fond memories.

Love comes in many forms. Sometimes the love that we perceive as romantic will turn out to be just a philos kind. This moment is always as unique as the next or the other ones. But what is important is that we try to love maybe for short or consistent times. It is always rewarding to try experiencing it whether personally, or infrequently, virtually.  


Wednesday, August 28, 2013

unparalleled life

I wish I were somebody else even just for a day to experience another world, another life, and other memories!

There is a certain point in our life when we want to be somebody else not because we are jealous of someone else's life nor because we want to escape from our existing life but because we want also to imagine and have the feeling of being not us. We wonder what would our life be if we were somebody else. We imagine what life would we have if we were not ourselves.

Even just for a day it would really be an exciting adventure to be somebody else- another person experiencing other things life has to offer. If I were a girl, I wonder how would I live my life. If I were not an Esteban, which family should I belong to? If I were not a Filipino, would I be a European? Or an African?

Truly, we only have one life regardless of our religion and beliefs. Each life is unique. We may not experience the life others are living, yet we should appreciate our own lives as only one, rare, and distinct. 

There may be some complications in the life that we maneuver, its beauty is still unparalleled.


Thursday, August 22, 2013

the battles we take on

There are some battles that are worth fighting for. And there are some that are not.

In this world where conflicts are proximate to us, we have to discern wisely which among them should we throw down and out. We should carefully choose our own battles. If we think one battle would challenge us and this would turn our self out to be a good one, that is the time that we proceed. But battles that are meaningless and trivial should not be given attention as they would only ruin our sanity and stability.

But how do we know which battle should we face?

“You don’t win battles with hate. Anger and hate can make you brave, make you strong, but they also make you stupid. You end up tripping over your own two feet.” Truly, this quote from Michael J. Sullivan in his book Theft of Swords implies which battles we should take on.

Sometimes in our battles, it is not a question of why we step back. It is about stepping forward behind hate and anger. 

Monday, August 19, 2013

hope in everything

My hope has been drifting away; everything is bleak, everything is uneasy, and everything is meaningless.

There are many things that I have been wanting to do but they seem like they only exist in my mind. I want to do this and that. I want to go here and there. I want to experience these and those. But sometimes I feel that these things are really far from being real.

What more can I do in this life?

I don't know but I have been losing hope which is my only drive. Perilously, in times that my hope is gone, I feel so impotent and void inside. I feel like I am useless and powerless. And in being out of power, my soul gets drained.  The only consolation I tell myself is that one time maybe one of those things that I have been wanting to do will do come to reality and not just a mere idea.

Losing my hope is akin to losing myself. And while talking to my friend and tell her about my situation, I remember what she has remarked: "Go alone far away from you where you are now. Search yourself. The moment you fully distinguish your self-worth your eyes will be opened to see the beauty of what lies ahead."

Thursday, July 25, 2013

stolen sanity

In my pursuit to win back your attention, I have gained but only nothing.I have scavenged everything about you hoping that we could still get connected with each other but I was just drowned by my own fantasy. The days have slowly swayed yet our memories have barely gone. Everyday I tell myself that we are 'you and me against the odds' but why still I long for your hugs. In my dreams you haunt me. In my mind you sit there. In my heart you occupy a huge part actually. Your scent I totally miss. Your sweetness I absolutely wait. My eyes have dampened a bit thinking of you since morning. I have had almost no sleep trying to figure out how you have crazily stolen my sanity.

We have different worlds, yes, that is true. But what if my world has vanished and I have only wanted to be sheltered by your world? Yet, I know you won't really care.

From this moment on, I want your world in mine to disappear. I have been having a very hard time coping. I have suffered enough. I have bruised much from this love. I think, I want you totally out of my life.

Sunday, July 14, 2013

a reality of love

"I promise I will love you forever." This was the sweetest line he has ever heard in his life. But what has happened to her? She has changed into someone he can't imagine to have become.

"Why on earth that promises of love are so easy to say but as times go by they just don't stand up? How many relationships have come and gone, this has been said many times yet still it has not come true until now. It is still an elusive statement, a surreal reality." These were the things on his mind as he looked from afar. 

I remember a movie shot in Africa where children were looking for small gold pieces in a brown-watered river. It is really a physically exhausting work for children not to mention the scorching heat of the sun. The worst part of it is to get nothing after straining for days.

Love is like this. We strain for small pieces of gold under the heat of the sun for days. If we persevere and work for a period of time, we may find one. But there are times that we really can't find a piece of gold in the river. No matter how much perseverance we give just to find a small piece of gold in the water, gold is just not really to be found.

He is not growing any younger, but still love has never been good on his side. What has love done to him why he suffers this way? What has he done for love why he bears this way?



Saturday, July 13, 2013

stressbusters

At the age of 55, Anthony still can reach the peak of any mountain. He's been into it for almost 3 decades already and it seems as if he has never grown old for this.

Rina, a 22-year old fresh graduate, goes to her church and sings whenever she feels it. She plays the piano and guitar while singing some songs that will make her uplifted and happy.

After work, Ken, a father of two, sees to it that he has time to go to the court and play basketball. Although being a 9 to 5 worker, he also has to manage his time for family and hobby.

Grace is not an outdoor type of woman. She enjoys watching movies or TV programs especially when she has the luxury of time. She works in a bank. She thinks it is a demanding job but she gets easy whenever she watches her favorite films.

Jona lives in a bustling city where life is sometimes unkind and complicated. But every weekend when she has days off she goes to her roots. Whenever she sees the green fields, the hills, and the animals running around, she feels so enlivened and refreshed.

According to some researches, stress is one of the most dangerous enemies of the immune system. Once stress is present in one's body or system, different sicknesses will come and start to destroy its host. Stress doesn't choose anyone as its host--man, woman, rich, poor, beautiful, unpleasant, lazy, hardworking, young, and old.  Stress is also present in any job sorts. 

Five of them have their own stressbusters. Each of them has a different way to battle against physical or psychological stress. 

Have you discovered your stressbusters? If yes, then, whenever you feel the presence of stress in your system, give time for your stressbusters. If not yet, try to find what really makes you feel light and easy. It may be eating the food you like, cooking menus you haven't tried, climbing up a tree to pick fruits, walking or hanging out with friends, running around a park, or shopping in your favorite shop. Simple, weird, or luxurious as long as it relaxes your system, you go ahead. It is always right to pamper well-being.


Thursday, July 11, 2013

every cent

"I really hate the people here. They piss me off often. Everyday, they just annoy me in any way."

Girly stated this as she was talking to her friend during their day off in Spain. She's been working in a government office in the country for about 3 years already.

Whenever she goes out and hangs out with friends, there is no other word in her mouth than 'I dislike the people here.' Whether in the park, in a get-together, or in a party with her friends. She is intensely against the people around her.

For those working abroad, we should realize that we get every cent of our salary from the citizens of the country where we work. Especially for those working in a public office, the people's money is the money we receive every pay day. 

Instead of cursing them or talking bad about them, we should thank them for they are our bread-and-butter. If it is not for their taxes or if they don't exist, we cannot have a job in their place. On a large scale, we owe our wealth to them. Instead of lifting ourselves thinking that we are more intelligent, wiser, or finer than them, be nice to them. Instead of thinking that we are better in our jobs compared to them, we should always think that we are just the same. For all of us working, we have the same jobs, just different functions. We may differ in culture, race, color, and principles, we are the same human beings. Treat them benevolently even in  our roughest times with them. Love them whenever possible. It is simple as that.  


Wednesday, July 10, 2013

deprived of

For a man who had been deprived of so many things in his childhood days, he was able to manage to pull up and prove to himself that life isn't that bad at all.

It is still fresh in his memory what he had gone through as he was growing up. There was one incident in high school when he was to compete in sports but he had no pair of shoes to use. It was too bad that his family couldn't afford to buy shoes for him so he almost quit in the contest. It was a good thing that he was spared by a cousin who had shoes at that time and lent them to this man.

Now, that this man is a grown-up one, shoes are scattered in his room. Shoes can be seen here...there... and everywhere. 

For some children whose parents are not that well off and family only lives by hand to mouth, never lose hope. Most parents want the best for their sons and daughters but because of their economic status, sometimes they cannot give and provide what their children need and want. If parents don't have enough resources, children must resort to themselves to be better in order for them to get the things they need and want. It may not happen as quickly as possible, but eventually, tugging patiently would help them reach their goals in life.

This man knows how it feels to be on the shoes of these children. He pushed himself to strive harder and harder to avail the things he had been deprived of in his younger years. In front of a mirror, this man is smiling as he enjoys the things he never had in the past.


Tuesday, July 9, 2013

drawing a line

Drawing a line between a student and a teacher is hard to do when both are inlove.

Sony, a 30-year-old single man, had developed a romantic affection towards Emile, his student. They belong to the same faculty that was why they had seen each other often anywhere in the campus. Emile, a 22-year-old single student, had felt the same way towards her teacher, Sony. They both had held this powerful emotion that society dictates as forbidden.

Sony had been very careful pretending as if they had not been seeing each other outside school. He had to protect his job. Emile had been suppressed for quite a long time hiding this kind of relationship with her teacher. She had to bury freedom deep down the ground to safeguard her image as a student and as a woman.

But time was not on their side and the dean in their department had known their relationship. Sony lost his job so as Emile was expelled from school. 

Did Sony and Emile make a good decision by keeping their relationship from the eyes of the people around them? Do you think they should have fought against this norm in the society? 

We always say there is nothing wrong in or with loving. A boss and secretary can; a rich and a poor can; an old and a young can. But when a teacher and his student engage into a romantic relationship oftentimes people think of it as hellish one.

When it comes to love, how far could a teacher go for a student? Should their feelings be repressed, and wait for a time when they are both free from criticisms of others?


Sunday, July 7, 2013

for the sake of family

He opens the cabinet. But after opening it, he gets glued in front leaning his head to one of the edges of the door. He is caught on thinking of something...

Benjy is 35 years old. He hasn't gotten married yet. He works hard to earn a living for his family. He's the first born in his family. His father died when he was 7.

All his life he has been working like a carabao in the field-for the sake of his family. He has set aside his dream of becoming a singer. If he doesn't work, his family will not eat anymore. His younger siblings are still in college. He is just the only one who supports them. Sometimes, when he gets home after work, he lays his back on a couch and dozes off unconsciously.

Suddenly, the alarm clock rings loudly. It's time to get prepared for work.

In this world where we live in, some of us unload their dreams to carry the reality of life. Instead of living their dreams, they prioritize the need for their family. Some even have forgotten their dreams sadly for the sake of family.

How many of us are like Benjy? There are things that we would really like to do but we set them aside for the sake of the people we love.

Have we lost our dreams? Have we forgotten them? Have we given them up? 



Thursday, July 4, 2013

extremes in learning

I heard of a school director cursing and questioning why students still can't speak English when they study the language from 8 in the morning till 5 and afterwards they go to a language school for special classes. She also lamented the low level of the people's language skill as the ASEAN Economic Community is almost on the get-go.

Meanwhile, a Starbucks branch here has waived its subscription to an English newspaper. So, English is nowhere to be found except for the brochures located in a far corner inside the store.

A close friend has related that his students in high school don't really take English seriously. As if they don't really care for the subject.

On the other hand, a security guard is so desperate to learn English from a foreigner in an apartment he has been working in. He also asked the foreign guy if he could give the tutorial for free because he can't afford   to pay which the latter agreed by all odds.

People have different attitude towards learning. Some just don't really give a damn but some are really serious about it. There are many other situations where extremes are being seen in their approach apropos learning. And through their attitude, reflections are conspicuous through its ramifications.

Monday, May 27, 2013

attitude towards spirituality

While I was browsing some topics about 'poetry' online, an advertisement flickered on the the left corner of the computer. Here it was, "Friendship vs. Spirituality."

I don't want to sound so spiritual. I am firm to what I have been believing until now but it sicks me to know that sometimes some friendships are being jeopardized because of spirituality. When two friends differ into what they believe in, should they burn each other?

There are some cases wherein friendships or relationships are put into rack-and-ruin because of spirituality. One believes that the other is erroneous with regards to spiritual convictions. Eventually, they'd grow cold, and then turn ice with each other. Is it always a battle between the less and the more spiritual ones or the spiritual and the atheist ones? Should relationships be put aside because of spirituality?

I get this so called pet peeve whenever I see a spiritual friend brawling with the not-so-spiritual one. Moreover, shouldn't the more spiritual friend understand better the lesser spiritual one? But sad to say that friendships end because of spirituality, or should I say because of one's attitude towards spirituality? 

Christians are not taught to haggle with other denominations so as Buddhists are neither taught to hate Muslims. Good relationships validate legitimate spirituality.


why do..?

Why do birds eat worms?
Ain't worms suppose to be eaten by birds?

Why do dogs eat dung?
Ain't they suppose to eat dog's meat?

Why do men fight against men?
Ain't they suppose to love each other?


Saturday, May 18, 2013

the necessity of surprises (an excerpt)

A few hours ago, a surprise awakened me. After school, I usually doze off to retrieve the energy I spend in speaking a lot. I got astounded when my cellphone rang. It was my fault causing a feeling of irritation toward my mobile phone because I was not able to set it in a lower volume. It is always scandalous! I sluggishly answered it and I heard a voice again telling me to come out of the house. Why this time this person want me to come out? I had this notion at the back of my mind while my unconsciousness tried to reconcile with my consciousness. Is this the sentence pattern that I have to live with on my birthday— ‘come out of the house?’ Okay, so I went out and saw a good friend of mine telling me to get inside the car and we'd gonna take a short drive somewhere. I said, “eiiisssssshhhh.” This is my favourite expression whenever I have just awakened and someone tries to pull my legs or even piss me off. still, I joined in. I leaned my back on the seat to steal a quick nap. As I opened my eyes, I said ‘wow!’ In front of me was my favourite restaurant in the area. I haven’t been there for a while so I got stunned when I see the flickering lights inside inviting me to get in. I hastily moved forward and went inside the place. The restaurant is a rusty one with a cozy ambiance. Who would not like this place where the atmosphere and food are worth a penny? Then, my friend told me to close my eyes. After that, I saw a small cake almost similar to the cake I received last night from my other friends. I wasn't treated like this way before. Wonderful! That is how I describe the scenario. I thought my friend wouldn't do such thing because I know that this friend is not that sweet. At the top of it, my friend paid for the bill. It was not really the cake nor the place that bowled me over. It was my friend who was with me at that time and the effort which I know that it is to a certain extent impossible for this friend to get out at those times. I hurriedly hugged my friend and said, “My deepest gratitude!”

(The event took place 3 years ago during my birthday.)

TATANG

I used to call you TATANG…

My father, who went six feet under as well, had had some marital issues with your loving daughter. I was once a witness of their unceasing clashes blaming the malevolent impact of the so-called dissident bottle. I was just a poor little boy with sticky mucus oozing on my nose carrying some big vintage one peso coins when my parents broke off their vows of being together until the last breath of their breaths. Your daughter had endured emotional distresses for many years, so my family made a decision to come to you and be with you without anything. All we had were our bodies, souls and spirits but with whole arms open wide, you took us to your side like a hen that hems her chicks with her sturdy wings. We had nothing, yet we hoped that you’d share a bit of yours. Since I was just a kid, my focus was different at that time…

When my perception of things unbolted from the back of my consciousness, perhaps, I was six at that time, I had heard some words that you were really a notorious figure in the family. I can vividly remember how my immediate kin used to describe you- ferocious Lakay. During my family’s early stay in your house, I had had a taste of your stern rules. Your voice was like a thunder when you became enraged especially when your hypertension rose up. Your hands or sticks would poignantly hit my legs or buttocks. These facts had been painted on my forehead and even my cousin Mong, who lived with us, can really attest to this. You were the most vicious father-form dreading the young ones in the community. Who could ever imagine that you would fall and have your feet aligned with eyes closed in solace and in peace? 

Seasons had naturally changed as days alter years after years after years. The then stereotyped figure of yours tainted as well. The longer I stayed with you the more I had known about you. My acuity about you being ferocious had been altered by a good male disciplinarian figure. Since I didn't have a lucid view of my deceased father, you had become my TATANG. It was not that I had no choice but it was that you conscientiously offered yourself to stand as my father in lieu of my biological ama who kicked the bucket at an early age. Yes, I still had tasted your different forms of chastisement but I viewed those as to direct my path leading the right way. You always wanted me to have the best of everything. You wanted me to be the finest among the rest of the clan. I remember you uttered to me once, “You are an intelligent man.” I cried surreptitiously because my father was so proud of me. It was so rare that you appreciated and praised people around you at that time. From those times on, I put and founded my respect on you.

Life is so short. I went back home last March and I saw you still as if this wouldn't happen. I had seen you cheerfully mingled with your family almost every occasion that was held. I didn't know that those were outright premonitions of what has happened to you. Your smile when you were still alive had always been a joy to everyone. Though I know my mom and aunt jocularly said that they wanted you to give up the ghost early, but I know that they love you so much. For me, how could I ever forget the one who took care of me for ages? How can I forsake in my memories the father who stood beside me and gave me the strength to push through life? Never!

As the cliché goes, we should rejoice for the dead because they are now resting in the heavens. Sure, that is true, but now my heart is grieving for I have lost one of the most wonderful people in my life. I have lost the best father of all times. I have lost the most excellent disciplinarian in the world. I have lost the happiest man alive.

May you find rest to where you are right now. I hope that whenever I look up to the sky, I could see your smile. Goodbye TATANG!!!



Friday, May 17, 2013

quintessential epitomes of folly

Everybody wants to be clever. If not, everyone pursues the beauty and power of being intelligent. One major example why people chase for knowledge is being educated. They go to school to gain or acquire knowledge in order for them to be smart not to mention the benefits after schooling like decent jobs, understanding things from books, and shared experiences by classmates and teachers.People attend the four corners of school for them to feel and grasp what is it like being smart and what is it like having vast knowledge and understanding of things. 

Some people also want to experience and get knowledge through actual experiences. Can you imagine a man travelling around the world just to prove or seek an answer whether the earth is round or spherical? Or you might have heard of a person who routed from North Pole going straight down to South Pole just to measure how wide the earth is. How about a man swimming the deepest part of the earth-- let me say going to the abyss in search for an answer what the inner core looks like? Some experts also fly the highest ceilings of the universe proving that the outer-space is capable of being dwelled by living organisms or the reaching to the apex of thinking-humans. Some also theoretically proven that people descended from monkeys.


In the recent years, we have heard of inventors which we call them 'heroes' in the modern times because they have created and bequested devices that have made human lives easier and more comfortable. They have left living legacies to the people which are being used continuously by people even now. Consider the promulgation of information through TV. Nowadays  almost every household has a television. I believe that modern innovations are waiting to be out in the market sooner or later to add up the discoveries and inventions people made in the past.

People, in search of knowledge and wisdom, have become and are becoming quintessential epitomes of folly.

(I discontinued writing the last paragraph on purpose for you to think why people have become and are becoming quintessential epitomes of follies in search for intelligence.)

the so-called bucket list

Before life takes its life itself, here's a list of the things I want to do:

*go to Mars
*run for the presidential seat
*study Russian
*meet the Maroon 5
*invent iPhone 6 or 7
*record my album
*travel Argentina
*buy a house in Hollywood
*get married on top of a building
*publish my novel

What is on your list?


the desire to be rich

"Why I was not born rich?"

This question came across my mind as I was folding my clothes while watching a dramatic soap opera on TV. If I were rich, I would not have to put these clothes on again and again like every other day. I could shop for much clothes as I want and I don't need to wash them when they smell  like sweat or get yellowish.

I think that most people have this eagerness in their hearts to be rich. What would my life be like if I were affluent? Had I been one, I would have travelled many famous destinations around the world. I might have owned a car or two which really cost an arm and a leg. I could afford to buy houses in some areas near my hometown.

Why in everyday that I work, I cannot get rich? I do a job; I save some money for the future but that's all and I cannot consider myself rich.

I have spent one-third of my life being mortal and I can't seem to experience the meaning of affluence.

But as I watch and see the rich, their lives seem to be difficult. Some of them are addicted into substances. Some are delinquent. Some are engaged in dirty jobs and tricks. Some have disordered families. Some are haughty, rough, and flamboyant. Etc...etc... Worse, they seem to have been living in a  rat's nest.

I am starting the second half of my life. Should I still desire to be rich?


Tuesday, May 7, 2013

white rose


While I was driving towards a convenience store
I saw a white rose
I smiled, but all of a sudden
I got saddened.

I remembered you
It has been months
I have almost forgotten you
Yet, the flower reminded me of you.

This is true
When I give a white rose to someone
It means my love is pure and true
And I will keep this love in my heart forever

I don't know if I want to see you
But the thoughts of you are enough
To caress this heart that once beat for you
Memories between you and me
I will always treasure

Thank you!

Friday, March 15, 2013

someone

Someone...

Someone who will ruin my sleep...
Someone who will tease me when I stink...
Someone who will keep my things when I don't want to...
Someone who will take my things without or late permission, too...

Someone who will share a bed when I want to be alone...
Someone who will go first to toilet and I wait for a long time...
Someone who will turn on the lights when I want the room to be dark...
Someone who will talk on the phone noisily when I want around to be silent...

Someone who will cook for me when I want to eat out...
Someone who will tell me not to buy this but that...
Someone who will plan with me to go out on a trip...
Someone who will bother me when things get some problems...

Someone who will ask for a grandeur wedding...
Someone who will be excited to wear white with a bouquet while walking...
Someone who will suggest how many children we'll be having...
Someone who will stay with me through thick and thin...

Someone who will annoy me...
Someone who will take care of me...
Someone who will make me angry...
Someone who will love the real me...

Someone like this is all I need.


Wednesday, March 13, 2013

doors to pedestal

Last night while I was on my way back home, I noticed a guy who was sliding the steel doors of a temple trying to pull and lock them together. It seemed like it was really hard for him to do because maybe the bearings were not new. But as I reached the gates to my place, he was able to close them. After that, a thought came to my mind. "What if the doors of opportunities get shut in my life?"

There have been so many times that chances pushed me to do the things that I like in my life but I ignored them because I was preoccupied with other stuff. I did not even give myself a chance to try them. The have opened their doors widely for me but I was stiff and hesitant to give in. I just walked right by them.

I realize that opportunities come only once or twice in life. Seize them as they offer a good thing. If there are chances to make them happen, go, and run after them. There is nothing wrong to chasing after what someone hopes or desires for. If there is a way to reach something, persevere, and make it happen.

Life's opportunities only knock rarely. And these rare moments perhaps could bring me into pedestal; moments which will change my life forever.




Tuesday, March 12, 2013

do you love him?

Ending up a relationship is as difficult as throwing away your favorite dress that you have taken care of for a very long time. But no matter how valuable that dress is, if repairing is impossible to achieve and the dress doesn't fit you anymore, you don't have any choice than to put it in a bin where it should belong.

I asked a friend why she is still in a relationship but doesn't love her boyfriend any longer. With a lopsided grin she answered, "It is really hard to split up with him because we have been accustomed to each other. It would truly be so difficult to cut the communication between us that we have done for almost 2 years." 

I added, "Do you love him?" 

"I don't know." She uttered without thinking twice.

There is no reason staying in a relationship where one doesn't love the other, vice versa. It is better to finally get out of it cordially with your partner than fooling him or yourself. Yes, it is difficult, but think of your partner. He would be more hurt knowing that you don't love him while you continue being together.

Stop it. End it. Set him free. Set yourself free!


Monday, March 4, 2013

rain, rain

Those tiny drops of rain
Those sweet chirps of birds
The silence in the midst of them
Makes my heart want to hold you again...

The murkiness of the horizon
The overcast which surrounds the heaven
The clouds which cover the sun
Are as thick as my gloomy heart...

On my bed
I can smell your fragrance
I can feel your hands around me
I can sense that you are beside me...

Rain, rain
Stop from falling
I don't want to yearn for him again
I want to end this crazy longing...


Friday, March 1, 2013

sang froid

It's forty minutes past nine in a cold and murky evening here in my sanctuary. In my solitary moment, I'm here in a very solitude place encoding a piece of an article.

Quite sad but I know I can get over it. When I would go back home it would be over and I could lay my back and say goodnight to this breezy night.

I kept on pondering on one thing and I can't really figure what will I do with this thing out. I'm trying to run away from it but still it haunts me and sometimes it gives me sleepless nights. Huh!!! It's really hard to banish it out in my mind.

I have no regrets of my past but there are some memories that really bother me. God, my plea is for you to heal my broken heart for what has happened in the past and give me sang froid that I really need right now.

My eyes are dropping down wanting to doze off and I need to go home by foot. I hope that when the East would rise, a new beginning would be seen and a life in serenity would embrace me...

Thursday, February 28, 2013

i cannot feel you

A couple of months have passed and I have known a little of you. Barely one month of being happily together and the rest was fighting with each other. But obviously, you have filled my life with colors and I want to say,  "Thank you."

Yet, there are things that seem to be difficult to handle between us.

I long for physical intimacy but you cannot give that to me. I have learned to respect you for that, but because I am human so sometimes I desire for intimacy to feel that I really belong to you.

You have changed a lot. You must have been sick and tired of me. You have become a different person; not the same person I knew in the beginning. Or maybe, what I see now is the real you.

Whenever I am with you, it seems like you are not with me. Whenever I kiss you, I see a hesitation in you. Whenever I caress you, I see no reaction from you.

I am not just a lover. I am not your part-time lover. I am neither your 'others'.

I love you but I cannot feel you. I love you but I cannot stand you anymore. I love you but I see I am not important to you. I love the old you, but now you are new.

I need a break. I need to breathe. I need space. I have given almost all my heart to you but now I have to spare even just a little love for myself. The more I try to understand you, the more my heart breaks into pieces.  It is now difficult to chase after you. If I continue being with you, I will lose myself, and you too.

It is truly hard for me to let go of you. It is really hurting for me to see myself walk away from you. But I have no choice. I have to earn more respect for myself, and for you.

I want my heart to give a rest. It is tired and bruised. I only have one and I need to take care of it too.






Wednesday, February 27, 2013

if we falter

Rise up and do what is necessary!

Sometimes, we let ourselves drowned in a situation where we suffocate ourselves and let our spirit gradually die. We position ourselves by choice into a place where we know we will lose our self-esteem. Consequently, our hearts will eventually fall and fail.

Sometimes, we let other people to maneuver our lives. Unconsciously, little by little they rule our lives without even noticing that we are losing ourselves. We let people create their own spaces in our heart slowly warranting these spaces to occupy our entire heart. Eventually when these spaces have slipped in, we can no longer breathe. The spaces will surely bring us into harm--catastrophe.

Never let people destroy our life. Own it. Live it without regrets. Sometimes, trust our intuitions without any hesitations. Don't let others steal our joy. If not, we will only live under their shadows. 

If we fall, rise up. If we fail, strive harder. If we falter, take a break, then move on.


Saturday, February 16, 2013

pathetic

Pathetic!

Yes, that is the best way on how to describe people who put their esteem in the abysmal ocean. Truly pathetic!

One man tries to win back his ex-girlfriend who has already another boyfriend. This man hopes that in the end he can still win the heart of the one he still loves. But the problem is that the woman is happy now with someone else. Pathetic!

One man now begs for alms from unknown people. He used to be famous and rich. But because of vices and caprices, he plunged down into bankruptcy, after which, he got a problem mentally. Pathetic! Good thing his friends still know him. They're the one who are helping him out at the moment.

One man lost his sexual organ because of promiscuity. His partner sliced it with a knife while he was sleeping after knowing that he had been meeting not only one but three other women. Pathetic! Can he still womanize?

One man was axed from his job after he was caught red-handed by his boss. He stole money from the bank where he worked. Now, he spends sleepless nights behind bar trying to figure out how he could go out after being sentenced into lifetime imprisonment. Pathetic!

Are you also pathetic? 

Stop being one! You live only once. Make use of your time wisely, usefully, and happily. Disregard the things that will ditch you into really deep anxiety and crucifying misery. 




Wednesday, February 6, 2013

deja vu

Dear life, 

I have already seen this. Deja vu!

He was afraid to say that he was on his verge of falling from a cliff-- the cliff of love. He was tormented on how he would say that he no longer had the passion to continue the pact--the pact which was once we created one night under the moon so bright. He was guilty--guilty of pleasures in someone else's arms.

He wanted to change but circumstances always hindered him to look for opportunities of new life. Whenever he felt better, earthly heathen lured him, which had eventually made him fall-- fall into the pit of lust and betrayal.

He would always ask for another chance but had always committed the same mistake after another. He had been used to the farcical clique of philandering. He had been caught by a trap lured with lecherous propensities.

I don't wish him bad. But long after, I know he will suffer from his demeanor. I wish him luck--luck to be able to get through the test of life. I hope he won't encounter this deja vu, this deja vu now in my arms.
                                                                                                                                               ----Sally