who are you among your friends?

Defining friendship may require an hour or two. There have been a lot of words that are associated to friendship. There is this companion, acquaintance, bestfriend, seasonal friend, friends with benefits, and the others.

But the question lies in this thought in friendship: Who are you among your friends?

Some would claim they are the best among others. Some maybe are the chosen ones over the others. There are friends that say they are lenders, borrowers, jokers, consolers, advisers, friends-turned-enemies, or just plain friends to someone.

For me, I don't mind if my friends don't pick me as the best one. It doesn't matter if I am not their bestfriend nor close friend. It is not of big importance to me if I don't stand out in my circle of friends. Bottomline, it is not about me but it is about who I can be for my friends. That is friendship.

giver and taker

ben

When you ask:

Lord, please I am in need these days. I am running out of resources and I can't seem to survive in the coming days.

Or maybe:

Lord, I don't like this problem anymore. It's draining my last energy and it's becoming unbearable. I need your strength.

When God asks:

Son, give me your heart wholeheartedly. I gave everything when you were in need. I sustained you and lent a breath to breathe when you said you couldn't continue life anymore.

Son, I just need a little time from you.

Do you realize sometimes that you abuse God? Relationship is a two-way process. It is a 'give and take.' In your relationship with God, are you more than a giver or a taker?

coffee man

ben

I observe this man in his early 30s to be so conscious of his health. He's quite big that's why maybe he is resorting into some cutting-of-the-fats schemes. He has no health disorder as he always speaks coming from his mouth. At work, he is known as the coffee man because of consuming pretty much boxes of slimming coffee believing that he could trim down his weight as he drinks a cup or two a day. But the problem is, years after years, nothing has happened to his body only that he has gotten bigger and bigger. 

Now, I see the picture. How can he cut down his weight if he eats and eats like a horse? How can he lose weight when he knows no work at home rather than watch his favorite TV program? How can he trim down his weight if he is as lazy as a dog?

One day, a certain news suddenly stuns this guy. He has been diagnosed to have acquired a heart problem.

No matter how pious he is in his slimming regimen without exercising, nothing will happen. Spending money  to buy the most effective products or ways on how to get slim without moving his body is useless. It is the same as faith without action is dead.

she waited for him

ben

She waved her hand as the train slowly went on. She was succumbed into tears with her hand covering her lips which were no longer tamable so she opened them and sobbed very deeply. She loved him so much that she wouldn't want to be miles away from him.

She waited.

Finally he arrived. He changed. He was not the same him. He was a totally different one.

She went to meet him again after 10 years of not seeing each other face-to-face. She was shaking as if her nervousness almost ate her. The moment she saw him, there was this feeling she couldn't explain. As they got closer to each other, the moment was different. It was awkward. She felt uneasy. He felt the same.

She exclaimed, "What now?"

"I came back to say 'thank you.' You taught me how to love. I am..."

She interrupted, "Shhhh...Stop."

At first, she did not know what to do. But as the wind quickly blew, she smiled and said, "I was only in love with the idea of the love that we had when we were younger. I also want to thank you for being an inspiration. From now on, I am going to move on."

They parted ways on the same place where they cried for each other and as the train quickly went forward, he shouted, "I am getting married!!!"

Not all love stories end up in 'They lived happily ever after.' Love stories can sometimes be 'They separated happily ever after.'

colored clothes

ben

"Why did you do that, Sammy? Do you know what will happen when you soak the colored clothes with bleach?" The mother scolded her 9-year old son after seeing him washing his clothes at the back of their house one afternoon.

For a while, the boy whose face was terrified by the tone of his mom began to feel humiliated because some of his playmates were looking at him. Again his mom asked the question, "Why did you do that, Sammy?"

In a soft voice he answered, "Because everyday when I get home from school, or even when I come back home from playing with other children, you always complain that I change my clothes again. You always murmur that you're tired doing my laundry. You always have words whenever I change my shirt. In the morning, after I take a shower or at night before I go to bed, you slightly twit as you give me clothes to wear. This afternoon, as I got home from playing outside, I looked at my shirt and it was a little dirty. I took it off and got the others from the laundry bin and soaked them with the bottle near the faucet in order to help you in a way so you won't grumble anymore."

The boy went to the mom and hugged her tightly. 

"Sorry!" Coincidentally, this word was heard from each other at the same time.

!!

Have you ever thought of these lines:

I want to be rich!
I want to be famous!

Sometimes these seem-not-impossible-to-attain sentences cross my mind at work.

I have been working all my life but I think I am not yet rich. I have been writing for almost a third of my age but still my works are unpublished to many. I have just read online about some clips in Youtube that made a lot money as they became popular to many as well.

What should I do to make these dreams come true?

hi alibi

Two insights from a friend of mine:

1. Some people say 'How are you?' just to continue the greeting after 'Hi.' Not all people greet others sincerely.

2. Some people say they are stressed out but in fact they are just lazy. This is one of lazy people's alibis.

date

She is a well-mannered manager. She manages to work efficiently as if she has no flaws in whatever she is doing inside her company. She is very good at what she does.

She comes to my desk as she is having a problem on her report. She says that she already checked earlier all the facts, figures, and numbers being filled out in the document but the computer still shows the red mark 'error.' She gets rattled because this may be the first time she encounters such problem with her report. I offer my help. I go through her report and find out what is wrong with it. You know what? She entered the wrong date, November 25 instead of October 25. We are not there on that date yet.

When somebody is confident and very clever, she sometimes over-analyze almost all situations that she misses out the smaller details.

ben

finish line

ben

He set out a trail to find a very important area in the mountain. He started joyfully as if he was fully ready for the task he was about to accomplish. Geared with mountaineering gadgets, he walked on his first course at its lowest level. Luckily, he graduated. The second course was a little tiring with a few obstacle along the way. Again, he triumphantly went to the next and proceeded. The third one got really exhausting. He had drunk almost all the water in his bag-pack but still he couldn't see any sign of the area he would like to reach. He walked more. The fourth was a total hell for him because it took most of his energy as he tread the tricky way up the mountain. He felt so fatigued. His body couldn't continue anymore. His readied things might not be able to complete his course going to the end point any longer. He finally gave up and went back home despondently. Only then he knew that he only had almost 2 kilometers before he could have seen the place he planned to hit.

In life, there are times that we feel tired fighting and reaching for our dreams. There are moments that we lose hope when we face big mountains that come our ways as we walk up to the finish line. When we feel discouraged, disappointed, or disheartened, we tend to just give up and don't want to continue anymore. When we cannot see any hint or sign of going to that destination we planned to arrive at, we become powerless and hopeless.

There could be no more saddest than the story of this man who gave up when the finish line was already at hand.

who is fatter?

ben

"Who is fatter?"

This question was asked by two of my women colleagues while discussing this matter in their vernacular. At first, I wanted to laugh because they really had to stop me from doing my chores at work just to ask this question, but I held back so I wouldn't spoil the answer I would have to give them. One of them told me that they were of similar weight yet one looked fatter.   I raised my head up and my mind worked on, "Why such two individuals were so much into this thing?"

Do all women have the same question like my colleagues asked?

Nowadays, women would like to stay slim. If they think they are not, they will find ways on how to trim their weight, naturally or artificially. Women of the modern era have this thinking that the fatter they get, the uglier they become. Women at these times are in their own battle to become slim and thin. Why?

Some women think that thinner women generally are more attractive to men.

There is nothing wrong when a woman wants to become thin. It just turns abnormal when she  obsessively wants to become thin disregarding her health. As long as a woman is healthy, no problem of becoming thinner. An article from a magazine quotes, "Men find women most attractive when they take care of themselves and maintain a healthy and balanced lifestyle."

i wish

I wish I could fly away from the noises where I am now
I wish I could walk where my shadow doesn't come around
I wish I could lie down where no one bothers me
I wish I could spend time looking at life itself
I wish I could think freely from the hassles of life
I wish I could cease looking at the intricacies of life   
I wish I could run through fields of laughter
I wish I could be far from the grudges of the earth
I wish I could do the things I hardly done
I wish I could watch the sun that sets in the west

I wish...

ben

   

an unforgiving heart

ben

Why it is not easy to forgive and let go of the feelings we have for the people that once we truly loved and  cared?  

Once, twice, many times I had been stabbed at my back by the people I loved and treasured most. After long friendships and relationships, all of a sudden, only a moment of betrayal turned my heart into smithereens. How fragile my heart had been! Delicate that most of the times, I had hardly forgiven the people whom I considered close to me most.

It is really difficult to forgive.  

It is pride that hinders most individuals not to forgive. It is the ego that drives them to harden their originally-soft-turned-into-stone hearts. An unforgiving heart is a dangerous one. It may ruin the body, mind, and soul. It can cause havoc into someone's life. Yet, trading pride to forgiveness is an easier resort rather than living a life as if carrying the whole world with us.

When our hair is grown, we have our hair trimmed not our head. Likewise, when there are fights and quarrels, cut the pride, not the relationship. 

Choose we this day what to keep: an unforgiving heart or a loving one?

the monks

ben

What I admire most about the monks is their dedication to whatever they are doing.

Two days ago, I was given the chance to speak in their midst, not to propagate my beliefs, but to teach them a language. There I had seen how fervent they were  in their devotion to their lord. There I had witnessed how ardent they were in the path they  have chosen to follow. I asked what is their ultimate goal why they want to enter into monkhood and they said, "To attain supreme happiness in life."

How much dedication do we have in order to achieve happiness? How impassioned are we in hitting the end point of our journey?

peaks and bosoms

ben

 

A church leader once asked this question: "What metaphor have you used to describe your life?"

The thing that comes to my mind is a range of mountains. Life has some peaks and bosoms. The peaks are the ones I enjoy and cherish much and the bosoms are the challenges I have to win over. The bosoms are the ladders going up. Without the bosoms, I can never reach the peaks.

How about you?  What metaphor have you used to describe your life?

start now

ben

Mrs. Keri: Why don't you let loose and forget the troubles in your mind?
Jonah:       How would I do that?
Mrs. Keri:  Just think of the simple things that make you happy.
Jonah:        I wish I could do that.
Mrs. Keri:  See, even the way you think it seems everything is difficult and complicated. Look at the simple things life is offering you.
Jonah:        How should I start?
Mrs. Keri:   Start from scratch. You cannot end what you have started erroneously. Begin at the bottom again.
Jonah:        I am running out of time.
Mrs. Keri:  Then start now.

you and your reflection

ben

Go in front of a clear mirror. What do you see? Do you see yourself or someone else?Look at how the person look like? Is he the same person like the one standing in front of him? Has he changed? Has he got aged?Do you see a happy man? Do you see a well-lived man?  Is he the person really in front of the other?  

Your reflection follows you wherever you are at any time. Even in the dark, your reflection is there lighting you up. Your reflection is your second self. If only your reflection could talk, then it would tell you good words to keep you on moving. Also, it could tell everything about who you are.  

However, your reflection is not the real you.

Go back to the mirror again. Look at your second self. It doesn't talk. It doesn't think. It cannot tell you to do something.

It is only you who determine what do to in life in whatever you want to live it. It is not your reflection nor even some other people around you. It is you alone who maneuver your life. Your reflection is just a second you. It can only move whenever you want it to.

people vs. family

ben

Why is it that sometimes you treat other people better than your own family? Try to look at these instances:

When your friend calls you can put up even an hour or two but when your mother calls, it seems like the phone is a fiery coal that burns your ears.

When your friend asks for some financial help it is a little easier to give than to your cousin or a distant relative.

When you hold parties you cook so much for other people but when it is a family gathering you even cut the budget for the food to be served.

When you treat your friends, sky is the limit, but when you treat your family, you do a lopsided grin when someone orders an expensive meal.

When someone tells you to spend on a trip in a far away place it is easy to say 'yes' but when a member of your family asks you to go with him, it seems difficult  for you to respond.

There are other things more than these. Do you take your family for granted or you just find home in others?

a deep illness

ben

When I was a child, I wanted to have what other children had. If they had balloons, I asked my mom to buy me some of those. When some children had some toys, I urged my mom to buy toys similar to them. 

Now that I am a grown-up, I still want to have what others have. If my friend has a good pair of shoes, I also want to buy even better ones. If my neighbor buys a huge flat screen TV sets, my heart wants to have even more, like a movie theater constructed in my house. If a colleague has an expensive car, I want to have one as well surpassing what this co-worker has.

Being envious can be sometimes good and sometimes not. We envy good traits from people and we try to emulate them as much as we can. We envy their superb skills and talents wanting to have what they have as well. In this manner, it is sound. But, envy becomes bad when it is too much. When we want to have as much as others have materially, we may be on the wrong track. Envy becomes unhealthy when we focus much on surpassing others' assets or possessions.

Envy is a deep illness caused by  lack of appreciation, affection and satisfaction.

are you a man or a boy?

ben

Are you a man or a boy?

A man helps elderlies cross a road but a boy hesitates.
A man gives a woman a seat in any place but a boy doesn't even offer.
A man does not hurt a woman but a boy fights a lady back.
A man does not kiss and tell but a boy does.
A man softly and gently answers a woman but a boy is sometimes harsh and childish.
A man does not fall into someone else's arms except his wife's but a boy thinks to taste all delicacies.
A man saves for the future but a boy is a one day millionaire.
A man thinks of his family but a boy just lives for and on his own.
A man knows some household chores but a boy only plays around.
A man asks for forgiveness but a boy hardens his heart.

what if there's no God?

What if there's no God or Supreme Being? Do you think humans still exist? What about the creation?  How about the questions of morality? How about the issue of mortality?   Do you think there are violence or wars like what we experience nowadays? How about catastrophes?Do you think you'd be freer? Do you think the essence of life is still worth living? Do you think love still exist? Should we still care?  Do you think you still have a family?

ben

Just a thought...what if...?

before and now

ben

There are times that you eat what you say. This is true. There are times that you give in to a notion that you try to negate before. There are times that you go gaga for some things knowing that you cursed them in the past. Crazy, right? These are paradoxes, aren’t they? Let's take a look at these:

The person you hated much in college has become your bestfriend.
The person you went well with in college or at work for a long time has become your worst enemy.
The person you dumped when you were younger is now your lover or husband or wife.
The food you disliked before is now your favorite one.
The color you detested before has become your everyday color.
The expression you used to abhor is now the accessory of your mouth.
The job you never dreamed of landing on is now your most enjoyed one.
The hobby that you hated much has brought you into fame.
The rich have become the poor in the society.
The fashion that you always criticized before has become your trademark.

There are many other paradoxes, distinct and not, in someone's life. You, what are your paradoxes?

when love is tormented

Why is it when someone's love life is tormented everything seems unlikely and ugly but when someone's love life is stable everything seems at its place?

Love is the greatest possession a man should have in order to live a satisfying life. If love ceases in someone, satisfaction is barely achievable. As the saying goes, "Love conquers all." Whenever there is love, everything is beautiful and fulfilling. The sun keeps on shining because of its light so as a man keeps on living because of love.

her life or the baby's?

She wailed so deeply while walking out of the room after the gynecologist told her that a baby was formed inside her womb.Why did the woman cry this way? The timing was so convenient for her after being married to a man she earnestly prayed for. Was it a happy cry or a rueful one?

A scene flashed back into her mind what happened five years ago. This was a desperate and bleak event that she would always carry until the end of her life. She thought it was the only resort to end her shame in the society she lived in. How could she ever survive with it after the man she loved abandoned her? It was so painful, physically and emotionally, that it took her some months to recover. This was a nightmare that always haunted her whenever she went to bed. She had lived on chaotically for some time with the idea of intentionally dislodging her baby.

The doctor found out that the earlier procedure had damaged her uterus severely. She could still conceive a baby but she could die from it unfortunately. The cause of her great moan originated from the idea that she had to choose from the two: her life or the baby's?

in-laws

Women often think that 'in-laws' are the 'meddling party' in a relationship. But there is only one stone to break this old believed-to-be preconceived notion of having in-laws and that is not to treat them as in-laws but treat them as our own family. Only then we will realize that in-laws are not villains but supporters to the heroine.

are you contented?

Once there was a fisherman who sat down whistling on a wharf hoping to get some fish with his pendulous bait spread in the water. Out of nowhere, a politician in his early 50 walked past his back and asked the fisherman if he was contented in his life. The fisherman said, "YES."

Politician: Why don't you go in the middle of the sea so you can get more fish? 

Fisherman: I am resting. Besides, I lent my boat to someone else. 

Politician: Why don't you buy another boat? 

Fisherman: What for? 

Politician: To get more fish so you can buy another boat later. 

Fisherman: Why do I need another boat?

Politician: So you can buy more boats.

Fisherman: Why do I need more boats? 

Politician:So you can buy a bigger boat. 

Fisherman: Why do I need a bigger boat? 

Politician: So you can buy a ship. 

Fisherman: Why do I need a ship? 

Politician: So you can profit more. And if you already have a ship you can have more fishermen to work with. 

Fisherman:Then? 

Politician: You just sit and relax--whistling while fishing. 

Fisherman: What do you think I am doing now?

Contentment is a matter of perspective. 

how do you work?

Lila had this stunning beauty that every man could ever dream of. She looked like a professional model. She was happy-go-lucky as if her life was so easy and calm. She could sing even in front of many people and this made her more popular in her company. She had a good working relationship with her colleagues. She went to the office early. She seemed like she's always busy but one day she got fired in her company.

She felt like she didn't deserve such fate because she was friendly to her colleagues and even to her superiors. She had given unsolicited helps to someone who needed it. She had triumphed 2 years and she had become the undeclared spokesperson when newcomers asked for some processes and policies inside the company. She thought she was a good employee. Angrily on the day she was kicked out, she packed all her things and stormed out without even waiting for the official letter coming for her boss. She ordered her friend who worked in the same office to get all her stuff out.

Her colleagues were all shocked after they found out that she evaporated quickly from her table the morning after. Eventually, they discovered that it was really her fault why she was fired. After some weeks, the people inside the company learned the reasons why she got kicked out. Stories emerged that she did not really work nor perform well in the office. All she did was to showcase her fashionable clothes not to mention her purse full of make-up. She was so fond of talking to her colleagues during office hours. Her phone was an accessory to her ear. Her computer was her all-day access to her social networking sites. She was also good during lunch break. She seemed like she was always busy because she got used to work with the 'last-minute' style--so to speak. She did several overtimes because she didn't do her tasks during office hours.

How do you work? Are you a reflection of Lila?

simple act of kindness

A simple act of kindness could be a huge ease to someone else.

Lourkhane and Daniela couldn't find a suitable house as they started to build a family. For them, living in a foreign land was no joke. Daniela would be giving birth to a baby girl next month and she needed to find a house for the baby and for them as a couple as well. They roamed around the town to search for a house but their feet got burned until they got nothing. 

Atom, the couple's never-talked-to neighbor, lived alone in a house near them. He was also a foreigner in that place. When he saw that the couple got exhausted every afternoon from finding a place, he benevolently offered his house. Atom thought that he could just get another place since he was alone and ready to move out easily. He thought of Lourkhane especially Daniela whose womb was as big as a pillow. 

What simple acts of kindness have you done today? Think!

the steel man

Everyone calls him 'The Steel Man.' He is on his early 40s and he hasn't gotten married yet as if no woman got involved in him because of his strong personality. Built with big and  muscular physique, this man really confounds more than astounds his co-villagers.  He is never heard by many talking in public. He lives alone in a house. Most of the children there couldn't get near him because he is quite unapproachable that no one dares to.

His mysterious image is the most popular headline among people in his village. He is the center of attention whenever people muster together in a throng.

One evening, while most people are all eyes on TV as they watch their favorite shows, they are so shock when they see a man talking on the screen.

The host asks the man, "Everyone calls you 'The Steel Man.' Why?"

The man answers, "I don't know why they call me like that. Maybe they think I am strong because of my body or my personality."

The host wants to ask more but the man goes on, "I wish I was not like this. I don't even know how to approach people. Children always get off whenever I want to mingle with them. People keep off as I try to draw near with them."

As he continues,tears begin to flow from the corners of his eyes as if he is like a baby wanting for something, "I want my life to be normal. I want to have many friends as well. I want to walk along the road while someone calling my name not being 'The Steel Man.' I want to be loved by someone also. I want to be in this world."

Ponder on this: Even the strongest person needs love and care.