me and myself

ben

Everyday, I meet many people of different walks and orientations in life. And every time I meet them, they share thoughts about life, love, work, or anything under the sun. Normally, at work I open talk like love affairs, neighbors, pets, or anything which is worth and funny to talk about.  When I ride on a bus, I see many people of different styles, races, especially now that I am in the city, I get to see foreigners, black and white, short and tall, blonde and brunette.

Whenever I go to a church, I meet friends or even colleagues. When I go and eat out, I see the poor and the affluent. I walk inside a mall and I see a lot of people spending and earning money.

At night time, when I go out for a walk, I see cars with people in it. I see many motorcycles, with three or sometimes four people riding in it.

But whenever I go to bed, the last person I see is me and no one but myself.

need and love

ben

Which is more appropriate?

I love you because I need you or I need you because I love you?

Loving someone sometimes connotes needing someone. We can not ignore the fact that everyone needs someone to love and needs someone to love him (back). We love because there is something within us that says we need a person to be with for a short time or for a lifetime.

People need love. Most of the times, we need someone because we love that someone. According to my friend James, it is sweeter to hear that we need someone because we love that someone rather than we love someone because we need that someone.

Ideally, the second statement should be the more appropriate one. But as humans, we tend to love someone because we need him, whether  for material, emotional, sexual, or spiritual sake. We love that someone because we need him to be with us in good times and in bad times. Am I right?

Almost all lovers fancy the idea of needing someone becuase they love that someone. Funny how it seems that this is more of a standard of loving someone, yet, normally,  the first is being done by most of us.

As I asked this question to my friend, Ezekiel, he gave me a more interesting reply, "I love you and I need you."

two customers

ben

Two customers of different class in the society enter into a boutique:

The first one is dressed up elegantly. She wears an almost formal outfit adorn with much accessories. When she is inside the shop, ironically, almost all of the sales ladies attend to her needs. She is offered by them the new dresses found in the boutique. She is recommended also with the most stylish shoes and bags from famous brands.

Then, suddenly, an ordinary woman enters the shop. She wears not fabulously but slippers and shorts only. As she sorts out for the stocks in the shop, she observes that no one assists her. She understands it as she sees the sales ladies together with the woman who enters before she does.

After some minutes, with lopsided grin, the sales ladies are disappointed because the first woman does not buy anything. They open almost all their stocks for her but she leaves the room without buying anything.

After some minutes, the second woman is seen by the sales ladies on the counter with 5 pieces of dress on her hands. They see her paying the dresses she picks. To their surprise, the second woman also leaves some tips for the cashier. As the woman leaves the shop, the sales lady exclaims, "Sorry, ma'am. We weren't able to attend to you a while back."

passion

ben

Amazingly, I was able to write two articles while I was on a bus. Words came spontaneously to my mind forcing my fingers to write them down on some pieces of tissue papers. Ideas just flooded and spilled in my thoughts so I couldn’t resist my hands from giving them to life through documenting them. It was like a raging river that couldn’t stop its water from flowing with strong current. How could I ever freeze my hand from writing? How could I ever stop myself from writing?

When your passion rises up even to a point that it even overflows, learn how to enjoy it. Don’t ever belittle nor ignore it. Harness it with finesse and gusto. You’ll never know, this passion may take you to a higher horizon. Look at me, I am now a writer and a publisher. It all started from writing one ordinary day unconventionally on a bus a few years ago.

think twice

ben

She was scared the first time she did it. She knew what would be the repercussions of what she did. Yes, it was pleasurable yet it was only for a moment. She was aware that pain and regret would last longer after the pleasure. She was 14 when she did it.

Now, at 18, she carries a baby on her arm. She couldn’t get a job because she hasn’t finished high school. She couldn’t find a man to love because of her situation.

At night after her baby deeply sleeps beside her, she writes these two words down on her diary, “Think twice.”

2 hrs. at the immigration

ben

When she couldn’t present a company ID to prove that she was still working, she was held for 2 hours at the immigration in the airport. She was teary-eyed wanting to get out of the room but she couldn’t until she could give the officers a proof of her current job. She wanted to burst out. She got weakened reaching her the point of giving up traveling abroad. So, she told the officers that she’d just rebook her ticket rescheduling it three days later. Her face couldn't be painted after the immigration people released her from the room, from the airport.

The day after, she was shocked by what she saw on TV. The plane that she was supposed to ride on crashed in the ocean. The report said that the plane was still missing with the passengers on it.

Tears began to flow from her cheeks. She realized that God loved her much because she was spared from the tragic incident she was supposed to suffer. She told herself, “God works in His mysterious ways.”

2 pages

ben

It all went worse for the couple. They lost each other’s trust. The relationship had gone sour for the 2 decades of their marital life. Work, lifestyle, indifferences, infidelity caused them to end up their promised of staying together for richer or for poorer. So the day the two had to sign an agreement to settle for a divorce, the husband gave a 2-page letter to the wife. Here’s the gist of the heartbreaking epistle:

“All wanted was to provide you everything that you needed. All I dreamed for you was to give you the best life ever. I forgot my pride just to be with you. For the two years that we shared together, I came to understand the meaning of life. Though you were dissatisfied with the things I give, I strived harder to give you more. Though you were not contented with the life we had, I almost changed myself to please you more. Though we were extremely opposites, I tried much to meet you in the middle. I don’t beg for a second chance but all I want to say is that I love you even though you found somebody new.”

2 dozens of roses

ben

It was All Saint’s Day at that time. I went to the market to buy 2 dozens of roses to be placed at the coffin of my deceased father. I picked the best flowers—those that were half-bloomed but big petals so that they would blossom beautifully after some hours or days. It had become a tradition. I had done it for 10 years because my mother coerced me to do it when November 1 came.

My heart was bitten to what my spiritual mother told me when I was younger. She told me once that expressing love to someone who is still alive is far better than to a person who is six feet under.

So, one time, when my mother was cooking for dinner of no special occasion, I surprised her by giving a dozen of red roses. She exclaimed, “You don’t need to. It is not my birthday. I am not yet dead.” I insisted, “Now, that you are still well and healthy, I want to express how much I love you by these roses. I love you, Mom!”

sandwich

ben

Why do sandwich are in two loaves with a spread in the middle?

When we only eat one loaf of bread, it may not be enough. Even two loaves without jam in the middle is not delicious. When we have two loaves with jam, we gobble it as fast as we can.

Sometimes, when we experience a thing once, we are not contented at all. We seek more. We hunger for more. We want another of it so we can fully grasp the feeling of doing it. At first, it is all rough and plain. But when we do a thing at a second time, we put more excitement or we add more stuff to it so we can enjoy it at its fullest. It’s like a sandwich. It is much tasty when it's served in two with a spread in the middle.

half-full or half-empty

ben

It is not new anymore to anyone the idea of a half-full or half-empty glass of water. The perception depends on someone who looks at the glass.

For some, they would say that it is half-full. It represents positivity. When they are subdued with happiness or ecstasy, everything would turn almost perfect. The trivial would become significant. The simple would become special. But some also identify the glass as half-empty. When life is at less, the glass seems rather swigging. It may look a smaller amount than half. When negativity strikes someone, he tends to look things humdrum and unexciting.

Whether half-full or half-empty, what matters most is that the glass has still water. Less or much, the attitude towards something counts more than the amount we are seeing or having.

mom or girlfriend

ben

"You are in a middle of the ocean caused by a wrecked ship. You found a very small raft-like thing that makes you still afloat to live. Good thing it could accomodate one more. On the water you see your mother. On the other of the water, you ssee your fiancee. You have to choose who to save: it is either your girlfriend or your mother?"

I always heard this akin type of  hypothetical question when I was younger. Now, I have a more appropriate answer for this one. Here it is:

"I'd rather jump down the water, and tell my mom and my girlfriend to get on up the raft. I'll just try to swim and endure the coldness of the water. If I die because of the chill of the water, at least I would have shown my heart, my mom and my girlfriend would still be able to live for me. I love them so I am willing to sacrifice for them."

two hands

ben

How could I possibly give alms to this beggar when I knew that he was able to do something and to earn for a living?

As I treaded a very crowded place, this poorly clothe man in a snap showed after my face begging for money. As I closely looked at his stature, he had a good physique, not to mention that he could still and able to walk with both legs. I ignored him. But as I walked going straight ahead, he never got out my sight. I got irked to the point that I exclaimed such sentence that made him flew away from me, "Look at yourself. The mere fact that you could raise your two hands begging and waiting for alms proves me that you still are not hopeless to earn for yourself. There are more people who need help instead of you. Perhaps, when you try to get a job, you could also help them whom at your shoes right now." 

i was a coward

ben

"All I want to hear from you is that you still have this fantasy of and about me."

This line was a heartbreaking one from a woman who still hoped to be with the man she loved.

"All we had was real. I did all my best to love you. But I thought I was not the one you needed. I was a coward. I was stupid. Can you forgive me?"

The man replied.

"Just go."

The woman slammed the door in front of his face.

"Can I love you again? Please, can I love you again?"

The man pitifully shouted while continuously slapping the door.

"I am sorry. I am sorry."

She talked to herself with tears on her eyes as she slid down to the base of the door.

did you have sex...?

ben

A 44-year-old man was at the peak of his life. He perceived that his life was at its best at that moment. He met this young woman, 25, whom he exuberantly wanted to spend eternity with. For all the failed relationship he had had, this one, he thought of settling for good. Being a chef in a posh restaurant, he bought a house and filled with some furniture on it. He also planned to have kids of his own with this young lady.

For just a season, he had cherished the moments he had with this lady. Everything went well with them. They were so unbreakable.

Until one day, while on a taxi, the lady asked the man, "Did you have sex with the woman we have met a while back?" There was silence for a few minutes, and then the taxi pulled over. The woman went out, all of a sudden, hardly breathing who seemed like choking. The man went out immediately after to chase after her. It was too late, the woman had a terrible heart disease. In his arms, cuddling a breathless lady whom he dreamed of having a life with. It was all shattered; life was no more to hold. In front of him was death and regret.

can i dance alone?

ben

Is it wrong to dance all by myself?

When the rhythm gets off beat, I want to see myself dancing in the middle of no one. Far across the multitude, I would like to feel my feet tapping the floor on a free style tango or swing, or any kind of dance. Since nobody would see me, I would like to dance until I get tired and sweaty. I don't mind the music, steps, or execution of my dance would be. All I care is to dance alone without anybody knowing and noticing it. I could imagine myself swinging my arms, moving my legs, and swaying my body in a room full of sound- happy and loud.

It takes two to tango but dancing alone is way better than tango. You could do it without any hassles. It is more carefree and easy.

Now, can I dance alone?

proximity counts

ben

A friend of mine always murmurs every time I visit his pad. He has just broken up with a woman but he sometimes sees this woman becuase they belong to the same circle of friends. He still loves her even though he has a new girlfriend now. He also loves this new woman. Only, his new grilfriend is miles away from him. He always confides that he loves this new one more compared to the ex.  I asked him one time, "Why do you want your ex back?" And he slowly answered, "Proximity counts a lot in a relationship. The more I get to see her, the more I love her. Though my heart also beats for the one who is far away from me, still I would like to get back to my ex." I followed up, "So, what will you do with this new girl?" Quickly, he replied, "I would still keep her. I also love her."

Anyone can love two or more people at the same time, but he has to choose only one. Or, just choose none, and think it over for sometime until he reaches a point where he can possibly pick one without regretting failing another one. If you were on the shoes of this man, whom would you choose? Whom would you lose?

a man's dilemma

ben

At the age of 30, a man of good reputation faces two different circumstances, and he needs to choose one the soonest possible time. He is like in front of a two-way road where he has to choose only to tread on.

First, he is bound to settle in Canada to work as a missionary. He has this sure job that awaits him at any time sooner. He has many relatives residing in the area, thus, it is easier for him to adapt to the environment and culture. He can get a green card after two years with the consent or grant of the immigration in Canada provided that he'll have performed well on his job and on his adopted citizenship in Canada. He could study more after.

Second, he is also the opportunity to find his luck in love in New Zealand. His girlfriend waits for him in the said country. He has no job yet but he could stay in his gilfriend's apartment. He doesn't have any assurance that he could stay there for a long time since he has to get only a tourist visa. He has to pursue this woman of his dream or time and place will tear them apart. If he doesn't move fast, the woman may tarry.

He has to choose only one. Which option is better?