unparalleled life

I wish I were somebody else even just for a day to experience another world, another life, and other memories!

There is a certain point in our life when we want to be somebody else not because we are jealous of someone else's life nor because we want to escape from our existing life but because we want also to imagine and have the feeling of being not us. We wonder what would our life be if we were somebody else. We imagine what life would we have if we were not ourselves.

Even just for a day it would really be an exciting adventure to be somebody else- another person experiencing other things life has to offer. If I were a girl, I wonder how would I live my life. If I were not an Esteban, which family should I belong to? If I were not a Filipino, would I be a European? Or an African?

Truly, we only have one life regardless of our religion and beliefs. Each life is unique. We may not experience the life others are living, yet we should appreciate our own lives as only one, rare, and distinct. 

There may be some complications in the life that we maneuver, its beauty is still unparalleled.

the battles we take on

There are some battles that are worth fighting for. And there are some that are not.

In this world where conflicts are proximate to us, we have to discern wisely which among them should we throw down and out. We should carefully choose our own battles. If we think one battle would challenge us and this would turn our self out to be a good one, that is the time that we proceed. But battles that are meaningless and trivial should not be given attention as they would only ruin our sanity and stability.

But how do we know which battle should we face?

“You don’t win battles with hate. Anger and hate can make you brave, make you strong, but they also make you stupid. You end up tripping over your own two feet.” Truly, this quote from Michael J. Sullivan in his book Theft of Swords implies which battles we should take on.

Sometimes in our battles, it is not a question of why we step back. It is about stepping forward behind hate and anger. 

hope in everything

My hope has been drifting away; everything is bleak, everything is uneasy, and everything is meaningless.

There are many things that I have been wanting to do but they seem like they only exist in my mind. I want to do this and that. I want to go here and there. I want to experience these and those. But sometimes I feel that these things are really far from being real.

What more can I do in this life?

I don't know but I have been losing hope which is my only drive. Perilously, in times that my hope is gone, I feel so impotent and void inside. I feel like I am useless and powerless. And in being out of power, my soul gets drained.  The only consolation I tell myself is that one time maybe one of those things that I have been wanting to do will do come to reality and not just a mere idea.

Losing my hope is akin to losing myself. And while talking to my friend and tell her about my situation, I remember what she has remarked: "Go alone far away from you where you are now. Search yourself. The moment you fully distinguish your self-worth your eyes will be opened to see the beauty of what lies ahead."