it's been 8 years

It's been 8 years.

ben

Yes, that long. But asked if I have had suitors within these years, of course!. I am not that picky yet everyone came and then just flew away. And there is this one who has stayed but he is oceans' apart from me. Virtually, I can say, because we have met each other minimally. We have known each other for 3 years. Well, I thank God because he understands my disposition. I have a 12 years old daughter from my estranged husband. According to him, it is just alright.

I am not getting any younger. I am 38. Yes, I have moved on from my 'broken marriage' so-to-speak. But why when I talk about marriage per se with this new one, I still have doubts, second thoughts.. It seems like I can't really give myself into the idea of settling down again with someone. Maybe because this new one is far? Or maybe I am scared that when I live with this new one, eventually, he would become infidel like the first one? Or maybe I am still bitter about marriage? 

Why is it that some men are not satisfied with their partners during marriage? I still hope to be with someone. I can't see myself growing old alone. I pray that this one is the last. 

It's been 8 years and I want this bitterness in the middle of heart to be buried with the memory of my past.