i think i am ok

ben

I think I am okay.

It has been a month and I have been thinking of you almost every single day. 

In the morning when I wake up, I scroll down my phone to see some messages from you but all is there is an empty message box. In the afternoon, I see your page but I am not tagged by you. In the evening, I see no good night icons from you. I think I am okay.

I patiently wait for a long day anything from you, but all I get is wasted time thinking of you. I pretend to think something else but all I see in my mind is a picture of you. I think I am okay.

When I eat, I see you beside me. When I drive, I feel you sitting next to me. Even in doing trivial things, I see you. I think I am okay.

Help me! I do not want to stay in this state of being okay. I want to be better than okay. Teach me how to be better than okay. What is better than being okay anyway? Save me!