i feel stupid

I feel so stupid!

After a devastating storm, I was not able to pull myself together in a quick way as possible. I let my mind think a lot which made me paralyzed for quite sometime and did nothing but to drench myself in the idea of why had she done to me this way. For almost a month of nursing my heart, my life had revolved into this grotesque vacuum and never let anyone notice it.

All those days had been wasted. Those unrequited sleepless nights had consumed even the last marrow of my bones. I couldn't believe myself that I was so engrossed with her thoughts knowing that everything about us was just a fairy tale founded only by lust and lies.

Now, I just feel so stupid. I could have done better if I got out of it immediately as possible. I wish I had known it wouldn't work out. I wish I had felt this feeling when I was with her.

I have moved on but I am afraid to love again. I am scared of the idea that love is not really meant for me.