hope in everything

My hope has been drifting away; everything is bleak, everything is uneasy, and everything is meaningless.

There are many things that I have been wanting to do but they seem like they only exist in my mind. I want to do this and that. I want to go here and there. I want to experience these and those. But sometimes I feel that these things are really far from being real.

What more can I do in this life?

I don't know but I have been losing hope which is my only drive. Perilously, in times that my hope is gone, I feel so impotent and void inside. I feel like I am useless and powerless. And in being out of power, my soul gets drained.  The only consolation I tell myself is that one time maybe one of those things that I have been wanting to do will do come to reality and not just a mere idea.

Losing my hope is akin to losing myself. And while talking to my friend and tell her about my situation, I remember what she has remarked: "Go alone far away from you where you are now. Search yourself. The moment you fully distinguish your self-worth your eyes will be opened to see the beauty of what lies ahead."