roommates

ben

We were roommates. We ate together. We went back to our hometown together. We had the same crushes in the campus. She used to be my nicest friend I had when I was in college.

All went well until one day she was diagnosed of leukemia. At first she was ashamed to tell me that she had this kind of disease. All I knew it was just a sudden attack but she revealed that she had it even when she was younger. All the happiness from her face shattered before the end of her life. She got so much pain. She lived in despair.

I asked God, "Why?"

I couldn't understand how it felt like to be on the brink of dying. I couldn't get the point why some have to undergo pain before dying. 

When my end is near, should I be in despair like my friend? Should I also suffer from pain before leaving?